Christmas Jokes

• How does a snowman lose weight? He waits for the weather to get warmer!
• Why doesn’t anyone win the tallest Christmas tree competition two years in a row? Because it’s hard to top last year’s winner.
• Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!
• Why did the Christmas lights get along so well? They had a great connection!
• Why does Santa keep a tissue box next to the milk and cookies? Because at this time of year, he gets Santamental.
• Why did the Christmas cookie cry? Because his mom was a wafer so long.
• Why did the Christmas tree go to the doctor? It was looking a little green.
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like to sing Christmas carols with me?
• Knock, knock! Who’s there? Gladys. Gladys who? Gladys Christmas!
• Why did the snowman become a detective? He was really good at following cold leads.
• What do you call a snowman that plays piano? Meltin’ John!
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Uh, Wayne. Uh, Wayne who? Uh Wayne in a manger!
• What do you call a snowman at Christmas in July? A puddle with seasonal enthusiasm.
• Knock, knock! Who’s there? Tree Tree who? It’s the Tree wise men come to see Jesus!
• Knock, knock! Who’s there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to know what I got you for Christmas?
• Knock knock? Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good Christmas joke? Cuz I don’t.
• Why did the wreath break up with the string of lights? It said they were too clingy.
• Why is Ralphie Parker so bad at contract negotiations? He crosses his Ts, but shoots out his eyes.
• What Christmas song do you sing to fruit? We wish you a berry Christmas!
• How is your extended family like a box of Christmas lights? Half don’t work and the other half aren’t very bright.
• What is red, white, and blue at Christmas? A sad candy cane!
• What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree? Nice gnawing you!
• How is a Christmas tree like a nice dog? It’s all bark and no bite!
• What’s Santa’s tax status? Elf-employed!
• Why did Santa have to see a therapist? He was Claus-trophobic!
• Why did the elf bring a ladder to the Christmas party? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
• Why did Santa get lost on Christmas Eve? He got mis-sled!
• What is Jack Frost’s favorite type of hat? A brr-ret!
• What happens when Father Christmas gets a tough steak? Santa Gnaws!
• Why did Santa’s helper sign up for betterhelp.com? He had low elf-esteem!
• Why did Santa get a standing ovation? Because he really delivered!
• Why did Santa get a gym membership in January? Because he wanted to get rid of his "jingle belly”!
• Why did Santa get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? He left his sleigh in a snow-parking zone!
• What did the Christmas lights say when they got tangled up? Watt a mess!
• Where do Santa’s helpers put their letters to Santa each Christmas? Elvelopes!
• Why can snowmen lose weight so easily? The pounds just melt away!
• What happened when I dropped a copy of "A Christmas Carol" on my toe? It hurt like the Dickens!
• What do you call a man in wrapping-paper pants? Russell.
• What song did they sing at Frosty the Snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow!
• What is green and pointy and flies through the sky? A Hollycopter!
• Why weren’t Mary and Joeseph freaking out right before Jesus was born? Because they were in a stable situation.
• Why is it getting harder to buy Advent Calendars? Because their days are numbered!
• What did Santa say when he broke up with me on Christmas Eve? Sorry girlfriend, but I have to give you the old heave ‘Ho Ho Ho’...
• What do you call a fake Christmas tree? A faux fir.
• Why do Santa never go hungry when relaxing on the beach? Because of all the sand which is all around.
• Why did the police want to question the Three Wise Men? One of them was a suspect in a myrrh-der!
• How do cows wish each other a happy holiday? "Have a very dairy Christmas and a happy moo year!"
• What did one ornament say to the other? I like hanging with you!
• What’s a snowman’s favorite type of gossip? Iced Tea!
• How did the polar bear go missing at the North Pole? He lost his bear-ings.
• How do you make antifreeze at the North Pole? Steal her blankets!
• What is an alpaca’s favorite holiday? Llama-kuh.
• Which one of Santa’s reindeer is best at football? Blitz-en.
• What does Bigfoot keep asking his parents in December? Is it Christmas Yeti?
• Why is it difficult to buy a cheap sled in Boston? It’s hard to know where toboggan.
• What do you call a disinterested snowman? A snow board.
• Why shouldn’t you tell jokes while you are skating? The ice might crack up.
• What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around, I’ll go on a head.
• Why do snowmen get hurt when they play sports? They refuse to warm up!
• What do you call Christmas cookies that make you laugh? Snicker Doodles!
• What do you call a cop at a Christmas party? Police Navidad.
• What color hair do gingerbread men have? They’re bread-heads.
• What does Santa like to eat when he stops in the Middle East? Fa-la-la-la-lafel.
• What do you call someone who isn’t sure if they like eggnog? Egg-nostic.
• What type of reindeer is one of Santa’s helpers? Ty-wrap-osaurus Rex!
• What do you call a chicken at the North Pole? Lost!
• Why is a deck of sticky cards a lousy Christmas present? It’s hard to deal with.
• What is a reindeer’s favorite singer? Beyonsleigh
• What is Santa’s favorite pizza topping? Jolly-peños!
• Where’s the best place to train sled dogs? In the mush-room!
• Why did Rudolph get pulled over? He ran a red light!
• Why did Captain Nemo get coal for Christmas? He was on the Nauti-lus.
• How did the hipster end up in the lake? He went ice-skating before it was cool.
• What did the snowman say to the girl he was courting? I only have ice for you.
• Why don’t penguins ever get into arguments at Christmas? They just let things slide.
• What is a snowman’s favorite beverage? Iced tea!
• What is twenty feet tall, has sharp teeth and goes “Ho Ho Ho”? Tyranno-santa Rex!
• What’s the difference between Hanukkah and a dragon? One lasts for eight nights and one sometimes ate knights.
• What kind of car do elves drive? Toy-otas!
• Why couldn’t Mary and Joseph join their work conference call? Because there was no Zoom at the inn!
• What does Santa call his friends? Ho-Ho-Homies!
• What kind of gravel does Santa have on his driveway? Jingle Bell Rocks!
• What’s red and white and red and white and red and white? Santa rolling off the roof!
• What is invisible but smells like milk and cookies? Santa’s burps!
• How do you get into a reindeer’s house? Ring the deer-bell!
• Knock Knock! Who’s There? Isa. Isa who? Isa only 99 days until Christmas!
• Why did the Christmas tree go to therapy? It had too many "deep-rooted" issues!
• Why did the red-nosed reindeer help the old lady cross the road? It would have been Rude-olph him not to.
• What do you call an ornament when it’s the only one on the Christmas tree? The Decoration of Independence!
• What’s the best thing to give your parents at Christmas? A list of everything you want!
• What do you give a reindeer with an upset stomach? Elk-a-seltzer!
• Why don’t you see a hippopotamus hiding in a Christmas tree? Because they’re really good at it!
• What do you call a snowman’s dog? A slush puppy!
• Why is Santa really good at grocery shopping? He makes a list and checks it twice.
• Knock knock! Who’s there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to know what I got you for Christmas?
• Knock knock! Who’s There? Dexter Dexter Who? Dexter halls with boughs of holly…
• How do fishermen in Boston celebrate the holidays? They exchange Christmas cods!
• What do skeletons say before Christmas dinner? Bone appetite!
• What do snowmen wear to work? Snowsuits!
• What’s a farmer’s favorite Christmas song? I’m dreaming of a wheat Christmas!
• Why do you have to go to Alaska to get the best Eggs Benedict? Because there’s no place like Nome for the hollandaise.
• Why does The Grinch hate knock knock jokes? Because there is always a "who’s there"!
• What do you call Father Christmas on the beach? Sandy Claus!
• Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? Because every buck is dear to him!
• Why is everyone so thirsty at the North Pole? 🎶 No well, no well! 🎶
• What’s another name for Santa’s Little Helpers? Subordinate Clauses!
• What movie do the Three Wise Men watch on Christmas Day? A Star is Born!
• What song does Beyoncé like to perform at Christmas? All the Jingle Ladies
• Why did Mrs. Claus take up baking? Because Santa said he loved her buns!
• What’s worse than a reindeer with a runny nose? A snowman with a fever!
• What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? "It’s Christmas, Eve!"
• What do Christmas trees say when they are in love? “I’m pining for you!”
• What’s a child’s favorite king at Christmas? A stocking!
• Why did the scarecrow get a big Christmas bonus? He was outstanding in his field!
• Knock Knock. Who’s There? Donut. Donut who? Donut open until Christmas!
• What do you get when Chuck Norris decorates a gingerbread house? A gingerbread fortress.
• When a reindeer loses his tail, where does it go to get a new one? A re-tail store!
• What do reindeer say before they tell a joke? This one will sleigh you!
• Why do people in Sweden drink so much Julmust at Christmas? Because it’s a MUST!
• Why did the Little Drummer Boy put his drum to bed? It was beat.
• What’s a snowman’s favorite soup? Chili!
• What did one Christmas tree say to the other? Lighten up!
• What would you call Santa if he raised cattle? A Jolly rancher.
• What is the Grinch’s secret talent? He can Who-la-hoop!
• Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws!
• Why was the letter E the only letter to receive a gift from Santa? Because all the other letters were not-E! (Naughty)
• How do you hire Santa Claus? You put him on a ladder.
• How many Christmas trees can you plant in the ground? All of them.
• What does Eminem nickname his Christmas tree? Trim Shady
• Why is it easier for Santa to go down chimneys this year? He’s on Ho Ho hozempic.
• Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal!
• Why shouldn’t you tease the eggnog? It can’t take a yolk.
• What was the Christmas tree’s favorite subject in high school? Treegonometree!
• What does Rudolph want for Christmas? A Pony sleigh station.
• Why did the snowman call his dog Frost? Because Frost bites.
• Why are turkeys smarter than chickens? Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Turkey?
• What’s the difference between Santa’s reindeer and a knight? One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh.
• What do snowmen call their offspring? Chill-dren.
• What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Ice Crispies.
• What do you get when you cross a Christmas Tree with an iPad? A Pineapple!
• If there were eleven elves and another one came along, what would he be? The twelf.
• How does Santa Claus take photos? With a North Pole-aroid!
• What Christmas present did the rabbit give to his girlfriend? A 24-carrot ring!
• What do snowmen like on their burgers? Chilly sauce.
• How do you make a slow reindeer fast? Don’t feed it!
• What do you get when you cross a snowman with a baker? Frosty the Dough-Man.
• What does Rudolph call his girlfriend? Deer!
• What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle.
• Why do penguins jump up and down when they meet each other? To break the ice!
• How much does it cost to run Santa’s sleigh? Eight bucks, or nine if the weather is bad.
• What do you use to drain the water from your Brussels sprouts? An advent colander!
• How did the two rival Christmas trees get along? They signed a peace tree-ty!
• How do you get Santa Claus to attend your Christmas party? You request his presents.
• Where do you find a Christmas tree? In between Christmas two and Christmas four!
• Why wouldn’t Ebenezer Scrooge eat at the pasta restaurant? It cost a pretty penne!
• What do Christmas trees wear at the pool? Trunks!
• Where did the mistletoe go to become famous? Holly-Wood!
• What’s a dog’s favorite Christmas treat? Candy canines!
• Why did the snowman get lost? He didn’t snow his way home.
• What do snowmen eat for lunch? Iceberg-ers.
• What happens at Christmas to children who don’t know how to tie their shoes? They end up on the knotty list.
• I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me, “Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace.” So I bought her nothing.
• Why did the reindeer go to the orthodontist? He had buck teeth.
• Who is Santa’s favorite cartoon character? Chimney Cricket.
• What do you call Santa Claus with unfolded clothes? Kris Wrinkle.
• Why did Santa go see a therapist? He didn’t believe in himself!
• What did the snowman say to the dog? Give me back my arms!
• What prize did the snowman’s dog win at the dog show? Best in snow.
• What is an avocado’s favorite Christmas Song? Guacin’ in a Winter Wonderland!
• What did Ebenezer Scrooge call his dog? Bah Hum-Pug.
• What do you call a search engine that sings the best Christmas songs? Michael Googlé.
• Where do mermaids keep their Christmas gifts? 🎶 Under the Tree 🎶 (to the tune of "Under the Sea")
• Who is Santa’s favorite rapper? Dr. Dreidel!
• Why doesn’t Santa use reindeer milk in his coffee? He’s on a deery-free diet!
• What would you get if you crossed Santa with a giraffe? Saint Neck!
• Why does Mrs. Claus love the Christmas season? It makes her feel so Santa-mental.
• What does Santa spend all his money on? Jingle bills!
• What do you get when you deep fry Santa? Crisp Cringle.
• Why did Santa go to music school? To improve his wrapping skills!
• How did Scrooge with the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed!
• What did the gingerbread man say at his job interview? "I just really feel like I’m cut out for this position…"
• What do you call Santa when he loses his underwear? Saint Knickerless!
• Why is Congress like ancient Bethlehem? It takes a miracle to find three wise men there!
• What’s the best Christmas present? A broken drum - you just can’t beat it!
• Knock, knock! Who’s there? Kanye. Kanye who? Kanye help me untangle me Christmas lights?
• What do you call an elf that sings? A wrapper.
• Have you heard the joke about Christmas wrapping paper? Nevermind, it’s tear-able.
• Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? He needed a trim!
• Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party? He’s a fungi to be with!
• What do you call an art museum that’s made of snow? The Ig-Louvre!
• What did the doctor say when the gingerbread man sprained his leg? Try icing it.
• Why do dinosaurs hide from Santa’s reindeer? They’re afraid of Comet!
• What did the storm cloud get for Christmas? Thunder-wear!
• What do you call a muscular snowman? Jacked Frost!
• Why didn’t the beluga make it to Christmas dinner? It didn’t feel too whale.
• How did the ornament know that she was addicted to Christmas? She’d been hooked on Christmas trees all her life.
• What’s the worst place to get your dog a Christmas present? The flea market!
• Why do reindeer wear bells? Their horns don’t work.
• What do you call Santa when he takes a break? Santa Pause!
• What do you call a messy reindeer? A stain-deer!
• What did one Christmas tree say to the other? I’ve got a present fir you!
• What do grizzly bears drape on their Christmas trees? Grr-land!
• What do you call a snowman party? A snowball!
• What do you call a really quiet armed crusader? A Silent Knight!
• What is a monkey’s favorite Christmas song? Jungle Bells!
• How is Christmas just like any other day at the office? You do a bunch of work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.
• Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce? His wife was a total flake.
• How did Darth Vader know what Luke got for Christmas? He could sense his presents.
• How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out? They spruce up!
• What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas? “I’ll never part with it!”
• What do elves use to get to the top floor of Santa’s workshop? The elf-evator.
• What did the mistletoe do when it went on a long holiday? It took a leaf of absence.
• What happens to Christmas trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
• What did the Christmas tree say when it could not solve the math problem? I’m stumped.
• What does Jack Frost like about school? Snow and tell.
• What did the octopus get for Christmas? Four pairs of socks!
• Where does Santa Claus swim? The North Pool
• What kind of money do they use at the north pole? Cold, hard cash!
• What operating system do advent calendars use? Windows 24.
• What game did the tornado get for Christmas? Twister!
• Why did the eggnog go to school? To get egg-u-cated!
• Where do cows pick out their Christmas presents? In a cattle-og!
• Why don’t snowmen like carrot cake? It tastes like boogers!
• What happened when the snowman got angry? He had a meltdown!
• What did the ocean say when Santa flew over it? Nothing. It just waved.
• Why shouldn’t you lend money to elves? They’re always short.
• Knock, knock! Who’s there? Snow. Snow Who? Snow time to waste. It’s almost Christmas!
• What did the Christmas tree do after its bank closed? He started his own branch!
• How fast did the Grinch’s sleigh go? Max speed!
• Why did Santa go to a psychiatrist? He didn’t believe in himself!
• How does Frosty the Snowman get online? He uses the winter-net!
• What was Santa’s favorite subject in school? Chemis-tree
• Why is Santa so easy to track online? Because he always accepts cookies!
• What do clams do for Christmas? They shell-e-brate!
• What do you call a wreath of $100 bills? Aretha Franklins!
• What should you do if your car breaks down on Christmas Eve? Get a Mistle-tow
• How does a snow-woman break up with a snowman? She gives him the cold shoulder.
• Why couldn’t the pony go Christmas caroling? It was a little horse.
• Why did the Christmas cookie go to the doctor? He felt crummy.
• What is a bird’s favorite Christmas story? The Finch Who Stole Christmas
• What do you call an old snowman? Water!
• What’s an elf’s favorite sport? Miniature golf.
• What sings “White Christmas” then explodes? Bang Crosby!
• What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Honda. Honda who? Honda first day of Christmas...
• What kind of drink does Santa give to naughty girls and boys? Coal-a!
• What did the farmer get for Christmas? A cow-culator!
• What’s red and white and goes up and down and up and down? Santa Claus in an elevator.
• What happened to the thief who stole an Advent calendar? He got 25 days.
• Q:When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving? In the dictionary!
• Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store? He was searching for some holiday spirit.
• What do you call an elf who steals gift wrap from the rich and gives it to the poor? Ribbon Hood!
• Which dinosaur wrapped presents the fastest? The veloci-wrapper!
• How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You follow the fresh prints!
• What do you call it when you pass down a Christmas turkey recipe? Copy and basting!
• How does Santa keep his bathroom sparkling clean? He uses Comet!
• What’s Santa’s favorite sandwich? Peanut butter and jolly!
• What do doctors give gingerbread people when they sprain their ankles? Candy canes!
• How do Angels greet each other? Halo!
• Why do reindeer fly? Because they can’t drive.
• What is a duck’s favorite Christmas show? The Nut-quacker!
• What is a librarian’s favorite Christmas song? Silent Night!
• What do you say to Santa when he’s taking attendance at school? Present!
• Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? He was feeling crumby.
• Where do you buy a Christmas gift for your pig? Hamazon!
• What happens to elves when they misbehave? Santa gives them the sack!
• What do gingerbread men use to trim their fingernails? Cookie cutters!
• What do you call an insect who sings Christmas carols? A hum-bug!
• What has forty feet and sings? Twenty Christmas carolers!
• What do you say when you give someone a lot of spices for Christmas? Seasonings Greetings!
• What do you call an elf who just has won the lottery? Welfy!
• How does the Tooth Fairy get to the North Pole? She takes the Molar Express!
• Who does Santa call when his sleigh breaks down? The Abominable Towman.
• What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas? Grave-y!
• Why did Santa go to the Podiatrist? Because he had mistletoe.
• What is Santa’s favorite kind of potato chip? Crisp Pringles!
• What do you call a snowman with no arms or legs? A snowball
• Why did Scrooge keep a pet lamb? Because it would say, “Baaaaahh humbug!”
• Why did the snowman turn yellow? I don’t know, but ask the little dog over there.
• Why is a candy cane a good collector’s item? It’s always in mint condition.
• What is a vegan’s favorite Christmas carol? Soy to the World
• What comes at the end of the Christmas Season? The letter "n"!
• What do you call a Christmas rom-com about bread? Loaf Actually.
• What does Santa eat for breakfast on Christmas Morning? Mistle-toast.
• Where does Santa store his suit? In his Claus-et.
• Do snow globes ever get scared? No, just shaken up
• Why does The Grinch enjoy gardening? He’s got a green thumb.
• What do you call a blind reindeer? ‘no eye deer
• What do fish sing during the holidays? Christmas corals
• Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants? Elephanta Claus.
• How do you know that Santa is good at karate? Because he has a black belt.
• Why do Donner and Blitzen get to take so many coffee breaks? Because they are Santa’s star bucks!
• What’s red, white, and green? Santa Claus when he’s airsick!
• Where does Santa always stay when he goes on any vacation? At the ho-ho-ho-tel
• What does Santa do when the reindeer drive too fast? He holds on for deer life.
• What did the elf get when he crossed a bell with a skunk? Jingle smells.
• Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Anna. Anna Who? Anna Partridge in a pear tree...
• What’s a dog’s favorite Christmas song? Bark, the Herald Angels Sing.
• Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive Who? Olive Christmas, don’t you?
• How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming? He refers to his calendeer (or he just nose).
• Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey know how long it is until Christmas?
• What did the christmas tree do after his bank closed? He started his own branch.
• What do grapes sing at Christmas? Tis the season to be jelly.
• What is Santa’s favorite kind of candy? Jolly Ranchers
• How did the two rival Christmas trees get along? They signed a peace tree-ty.
• Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow time to waste, it’s almost Christmas!
• Why can’t you get any spare change from Santa Claus? Because he’s St. Nickel-less
• What do you call an elf who’s run away from the North Pole? A rebel without a Claus
• What reindeer game to reindeer play at sleepovers? Truth or Deer
• Why does Santa use GPS? He doesn’t want to be a lost Claus
• What did the big candle say to the little candles? I’m going out tonight.
• Where do little trees go to become Christmas trees? Elementree school
• Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party? Because he had no body to go with.
• What do you call someone who can’t stop talking about last Christmas? A Santa-mental
• What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? Abdominal snowman
• What does an elf work on after school? His gnome-work
• Where do elves go to vote? The North Poll
• What do the elves cook with in the kitchen? U-tinsels
• What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense? "Wait, there’s myrrh!"
• What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite
• How does Santa remember all the fireplaces he has visited? He keeps a log.
• What is the best Christmas gift for the person who already has everything? A burglar alarm
• What laundry detergent does Santa Claus use? Yule Tide
• How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house.
• What is the Grinch’s least favorite band? The Who
• Why does Santa always enter a home through the chimney? Because it soots him.
• Why don’t crabs celebrate Christmas? Because they’re shelfish.
• How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas? He has hooked on trees his whole life.
• What goes, "Oh, oh, oh"? Santa Claus walking backwards.
• What do snowmen eat for lunch? Brrrrr-itos.
• What do you call a reindeer who can’t see? No eyed deer
• What is Santa Claus’s favorite track and field event? North Pole vaulting
• Why are Santa’s deer always wet? Because they’re rain-deer
• Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer? Spruce Springsteen
• Santa owes a lot to his little helpers. One might say he’s an elf-made man.
• What do you call a bacon wrapped Christmas tree? A pork-u-pine
• What do you call a scary looking reindeer? A cari-boo
• What do you call a cow that lives in an igloo? An eski-moo
• Why don’t you ever see Santa in the hospital? Because he has private elf-care.
• What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps
• How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer.
• Why is everyone so thirsty at the North Pole? No well.
• Why was the snowman rummaging through the bag of carrots? He was picking his nose.
• Why did Rudolph get in trouble for his report card? Because he went down in history.
• What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
• What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis
• What are the best Christmas sweaters made from? Fleece navidad
• What did one snowman say to the other? "Do you smell carrots?"
• What type of insect can’t remember the words to Christmas carols? A hum bug
• What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson
• Why aren’t Christmas trees good at knitting? Because they keep dropping their needles.
• What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph
• What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the normal alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has no L. (noel)
• What do you call a bankrupt Santa? St. Nickel-less
• Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can hoe, hoe, hoe.
• What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk? Jingle smell
• How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas turkey? On the dark side.
• What do elves learn at school? The elf-abet.
• Who is Santa’s favorite singer? Elf-is Presley
• What is Santa’s favorite state to deliver presents? Idaho-ho-ho
• How do snowmen get around? They ride an icycle
• How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza? Deep pan, crisp and even.
• What Christmas carol did the wise men sing? Oh Camel Ye Faithful.
• I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
• What does Miley Cyrus have for Christmas dinner? Twerky
• Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting? Because they keep dropping their needles.